WeChat Moments Collection

1. One day, the woman secretary looked dignified and said: Chen Zong, I am pregnant. Chen always continue to look down at the file, and then a faint smile: I had a vasectomy. Female Secretary Leng a while, Mei smiled: I and you joke! Chen looked up at her and took a sip of tea and said, "me too." Revelation: People walking in society, don't panic, let bullets fly for a while. 2. A soldiers fled to the caves after enemy raids. The enemy was chasing behind him, hiding in the hole, praying not to be discovered by the enemy. Suddenly the arm was mercilessly stung a bit, originally is a spider, he just want to pinch dead, suddenly heart born compassion, put it. Behold the spider climbed to the hole to weave a new net, the enemy chased to the cave to see intact spider webs, guess hole in no one left. Revelation: Many times, helping others is helping yourself. 3. His father lost his watch, and he complained that he was looking around, but he could not find it for ha

No. 1 Go out to play, found a dress sexy girl ready to throw water suicide, I busy the past a hug: "What is the thing, to the elder brother said!" She struggled: "Let me go, let me go!" "As the saying goes, save a life, win a seven-level pagoda, killing me also do not put." The girl was in a hurry: "Have you ever seen a suicide in a bikini-hop pool?" You punk! ” No. 2 A female classmate suddenly started a micro business, in the circle of friends selling shampoo, and then i a friend asked her: "Do you use this product?" It's not fake, is it? "Female classmate very angry said:" Bad use me to marry you! "Dude, I'm sure he's not going to cheat him when he hears that. Then bought directly, the results after using dandruff came out, gas buddies to find female classmate theory, female classmate without that day went to his home to see the brother's parents, not to fulfill his promise to marry him ~ No.

I a female classmate, study sports, professional martial arts, because peacetime practice is more bitter, often go to the blind massage, once go to a shop, massage division said I can't see, you take off the clothes, so that the press is also comfortable, the students agreed, after a few days after the classmate and then passed the shop, see the masseur is at the door and others playing poker, hehe, the consequences I will not say that the man was said to have lived two months of the courtyard Take a bus, see a sister in the clothes bag everywhere looking for change, find a half-day without fruit. is preparing to get off, a uncle handed over a piece of money, is I sigh the world or a good man, the uncle smiled at her sister: "Add a micro-letter, give me a red envelope." ” Last night and my girlfriend opened the room, she said to me, want to let me give you a feeling of pride? I suddenly feel a passion, immediately agreed, so the girlfriend put two boxes of Durex in

1. Ridicule On the bus today, I heard a eight or nine-year-old boy say to the little girl next to him: "Who says you can't predict the future?" At least I can know what my child's surname is, but you are different, what is your child's surname or unknown? ” The little girl said aloud without thinking: "Hum, that is!" Although you can know your child and your surname. But I know, my child must be my child, your child is not necessarily yo! ” All cars are almost killed by seconds! 2, Strange smile Reporter asked: As a Chinese, what can you do for the motherland? The interviewee replied: "Immigrants, not to the motherland." Q: What do you think is the main manifestation of patriotism? A: Immigration, to the imperialist country chaos! 3, wry smile A doctor to fortune, fortune Teller said: "You hit the rich, 28-year-old married children rich." ” The doctor said: "Then why am I now 30 years old and not

1 smoking One big uncle, cough is fierce, let the doctor to see. The doctor said: Go back and smoke less. Go back one months to find a doctor again, cough worse. The doctor asked: let you smoke less, how much do you smoke? Big Uncle said: One day less than half a box ah. The doctor asked again: How much did you smoke before? Grandpa said: I will not smoke before ... Haha, visible communication is not in place, everything is in vain! 2 Kind Salutation Follow the tour group to travel, guided by the guide, the car friends talk about the relaxed and happy! During the dinner, guide self introduction, everyone called me Xiao Wang on the line! There is a Japanese curiosity asked: Why do you always used to add a small print in front of the salutation? The guide explained, because like the talented person so calls, cordial! The Goods big smile: no wonder you all call us small Japan. 3 You a horse. One of the students made a mistake. Class Teacher: To

All say women worship, my friend is not that kind of person. Today, after the end of the day, a bitter after his months of rich two-generation Maserati to pick her up, at the door of the unit, in public, holding a bouquet of flowers, kneeling on one knee, showing her love, my friend then refused, turned to sit on the man's bike ... Back to the dormitory, the boudoir honey covered the quilt and cried a ... She swore she would never drink again. Call the company: "My husband is dead and needs to leave." "Boss:" Oh, too bad, understand, how many holidays to say. I said: "Good performance, 20 should be able to come out!" In an Apple store, a female student and her father are buying a cell phone, the girl kept crying and insisted on buying the iphone 7 plus 128G, father in the side of the sad smoke. Finally even the staff can not see down, can not help to persuade: "Sir, we can't smoke here." Today, pay 1500, to the anchor brush 1480

1. Why Drink glasses?  In ancient times, it was popular to poison wine. So began to pop clink, take a glass of hard touch, hop splash into someone else's cup, die on everyone died together! No wonder the Clink said: Come, go a ... Just don't know which one to go!? 2, a brother like to collect stones, far collected a lot of very interesting stone, asked him: So many years you collected a lot of stone it? He smiled and replied, well! The first two days to move the high-rise, spent 100 of dollars to hire people back out ... Throw it. 3, the deaf to see friends, friends of the dog barking non-stop, deaf but can not hear, into the house after the friend said: "Your dog didn't sleep last night." Friend asked: How do you know? Deaf: it saw me and yawned. 4, and girlfriend after breaking up, I spent all day drinking decadent, time a long relatives and friends and even neighbors can not see down, came to me and said: "You borrow our drinks in the end when

“ You were beaten by your wife again? ” "Well, three days a day is unavoidable, yesterday is just another meal." "Is she so bully you?" Divorce her! "Don't joke, she'll break the law after the divorce." ” There is a table of guests in the hotel today, and judging from their words, they should be talking about marriage. Look dressed, the husband's parents should be simple farmers, the woman's parents with a big gold chain, should be a nouveau riche. The man's father shook cable took out a plastic bag, the money in a variety of different denominations neatly stacked together said: "In-laws, here is 151,800, is all my savings, the marriage of the two baby to do it?" The woman said to her mother: Yo, what a big handwriting! Why don't you buy a dog? "The man's father raised his hand and slapped his son in the face and said," You're a good-for-nothing, even an animal. On the bus, suddenly feel a pat on t

No.1 After the confinement of the hair cut, because the weight of the husband's clothes to get dressed to go shopping for clothes. To the clothes shop. The guide immediately greeted up: Hello, are you buying clothes for your girlfriend? Me: I wear it myself. Shopping guide A face dazed: Big Brother We this is women's shop. No.2 The boss asked me if I could drive? I replied: "No problem", at least brother also has a driver's license, the car after the boss asked me "when the most recent drive?" "I answered one years ago. I do not know is not the illusion, the car's 6 people suddenly all pale, and then 1 hours away, the boss has been holding the handlebar hand, the period only said a word "in front of the BMW is too expensive, pick a cheaper point of" No.3 I used to eat the face, until I almost starved to death, then seriously work ... No.4 Whenever I am grumpy, see what is not pleasing, flustered shortness of breath, a