Daily jokes: The real next-door old wang

1

The young man's right to a girl for a long time, so the opportunity to find her a favor. After the matter, the lad said: "How can I thank you, I marry you!" The girl looked at him carefully and said, "How can you bite the biting?" ”

2

He and she have been separated for two years, two years he habitually open her blog every day, to see her day mood. Sometimes she is happy, sometimes sad, sometimes frustrated, he just stares silently, does not make a comment, even deletes his browsing record. Until one day her blog full of her wedding photos, there is a line of small print: "I married, not to you, not updated." ”

3

Cannon Brother in our circle, also count the figures, in his words, that is the underworld white we all. This is not today a buddy fight was caught, we hastened to contact the gun brother, see can drag people to guarantee out. As a result, gun brother said someone, incredibly is his cousin, also in the Bureau.

4

Today know a new term, called "Jack", is not even spare tire is not considered, just change the tire when used. "Then, the more miserable is the pump bar, even change tires are not used, on the abortion of the time to accompany." ”

5

Wages are sent down, the husband went to return the mortgage in hand still left 325 yuan. I joked with him: "My husband is so rich to give me some!" "Husband said:" Good! Half per person. "So took three 100 to me, I left two 10 yuan a five yuan said:" Just you three Zhang I three. ”

6

Do not catch up with girls blame fat, I lost 40 pounds for chasing a girl, and tell the girl to reduce a period of time can reach her standards! The girl all panicked, recently often actively find me to chat, keep saying she wants my health, do not lose! Because the reason for rejecting me is not just fat, mainly because of ugliness ...

7

Gigi and mother see the legal program of trafficking women, Gigi has been talking about if I was kidnapped, I will how to do, mother finally can't endure, growling and Kiki said: "How can you be kidnapped!" You won't do anything! Who will buy you! There is a lack of bodhisattva at home! Buy you back for it? ”

8

Last month I changed my WiFi name to "The Old king next door" and soon found a wifi in the vicinity called "Hello Wang," and I decisively changed the WiFi name to "You Alone" ... That's why we've been talking about the WiFi name for one months.

9

Once knew a friend, that is really suave, handsome. It is a pity to stammer. A small talk I asked him whether you are born or not the result of the effort. He told me that he had a uncle who was stuttering. When he was little, one day he took a small group of friends to see his uncle learn his stammer. His uncle's face flushed with anger. He chased them. When a man saw it, he whispered a few words to his uncle. His uncle is not angry, say you come, I teach you to speak. A few children have learned very seriously. As a result, my friend excelled, and learned a model. Half a day to learn. Never got rid of it.

10

One night, a young girl and a handsome male servant walked alongside a secluded country road. The hired hand carrying a big bucket on his shoulder, carrying a chicken in one hand and a cane in the other and holding a goat at the same time.　　They went into a long, quiet black alley. "I dare not walk with you here," said the Maiden, "Maybe you want to kiss me!" "I carry so many things," asked the male, "How could it be?" "Well. "If you put a cane in the mud, tie the sheep up and put the chicken in the bucket," said the maiden. ”

11

There are a couple of men and women in the park. He asked, "Can I kiss you?"　　She did not answer. "Can you give me a kiss?" he asked. 　　She still doesn't answer. He's on fire: "Gee, are you deaf?" "Gee, are you dead?" ”

12

His friend is a pediatrician, his wife is a midwife. The students asked their son, "What do your parents do?" "The Son answers:" Mother produces the child, Father repairs the child. ”

13

"Brother, what do you call a zoo?" "The zoo is a place where animals are not allowed to hunt." ”

14

God is fair. He gave the man his wealth, and gave it to the man, and finally gave me the poverty and ugliness they had never had.

15

Football match against Syria to 2:2 war!

Russia and the U.S. Foreign Ministry deeply regret and call the Chinese Foreign Ministry: "We have blown Syria into this, even the stadium is blown, you still can not win, how can we help you??? Are you going to win if you blow up the players? ”

16

A classmate, since childhood has no mother, his father is to him said, your mother was born you go, I will hurt you. His father did not marry him in order to keep him from being wronged. He has been raised, worked in a big city in the field and had his own family. One day his father called and said he would marry a wife, and he disagreed, arguing with his father about it. His father didn't marry either. Until his father died, after finishing his belongings, found a picture of his own childhood, the back wrote: "The son of a comrade as my son" ...

17

Patient: Doctor, am I not dying, are you hiding something from me?

Doctor: Don't think, it's okay, did you hear something?

Patient: I was watching a series yesterday and the nurse asked me why I still had a TV series.

18

Small time naughty, old beaten, I always do not move to accept the baptism of the storm ... There was a time when mom said to dad, "if she ran out, I will also be calm, the child is not moving, more dozen to gas!" "Young I put this sentence deep in the mind!!!! Once again made a mistake, after a slap, I carry the leg to run, my mother grabbed me back, you still dare to run ... Results. Results

19

In college, there was a Korean stick in exchange. Because of the karate, a bunch of children and students around him all day round, the son of God. Our class has a military area grew up a small guy, his girlfriend is the school beauty, and this person is usually easy-going, feel who can bully that. The game when the South Korean stick to see the colonel spent, the results to chat, but also in front of the boyfriend's face, and then two of people about the school after the mountain. This is the deadliest unilateral assault I have seen in my life. The Korean Bonzi after a flying side kick, was dragged down a hammer, from beginning to end a legs.

20

The man accosted a sister on the bus. "You look like my ex-girlfriend," she said, blushing. " Why did you break up with her? "Male:" Suspicion her ugly. ”