Do not believe you do not laugh, "Brother-in-law, the hot water of the bath I won't drive, help me!"

1

Yesterday I gave my friend a brain teaser, I said to him: "If 1 equals 10, 2 equals 20, 3 equals 30, 4 equals 40, and so on, how much is 10?", he thought about Sando 100 I glanced at him and said, "Go back to the elementary school ...

2

My computer was poisoned for one hours and then unlocked. Pop-up subtitles: No money for poor people to play with you. I stood on the balcony quietly scratched a match point but yesterday smoked half of the smoke, this TM is who so quickly leaked wind!

3

Last night, mature beauty of the sister-in-law came to my home to play, eat dinner wife suddenly said the company something to go. After a while I was in the kitchen washing dishes, sister-in-law dressed in sexy pajamas came over a face Bashful said, "brother-in-law, bath hot water I will not open, help me Ah ~". I just entered the bathroom, she suddenly a hug me "brother-in-law, people adore you for a long time, while sister is not at home, we inside a bar ~" Hum! Then I broke her, angrily scolded: "How can you do this, worthy of your sister!" When the door opened, the wife smiled and walked in. Originally this is her two bureau, she did not go to the company, has been hiding outside the door eavesdropping ... Hum, actually will doubt my sincerity! How could I be that kind of guy? Brother in charge of the kitchen wash bowl power so many years, less than a knife I will not know!

4

Uncle to test nephew's arithmetic, asked him: "I take 6 pieces of sugar to you and brother evenly divided, you give him a few?"

"2 bucks. Replied the nephew.

"How about 2 bucks?" The uncle asked, "Didn't you learn division?"

"I learned," replied my nephew, but my brother hasn't learned it yet! "

5

Brother: "The Sun's guts are really small!"

Brother: "How do you know?"

Brother: "Because it takes daylight to come out!"

6

A young swimmer crossed the Changjiang River, and when he landed on the other side, many people surrounded him and applauded. At this time, a big uncle came up, pointing to the not distant puzzled to ask: "Young man, a few steps ahead is the ferry pier, why do you have to go so hard to swim?"

7

As a leader, I never dared to speak more, last month, subordinates Xiao Li to my home to play, I casually said: "Home no air-conditioning, relatively hot, laughed at." ”

The next day, Xiao Li to my home installed 5 dozen air Conditioning!

Last week, I saw Lao Zhang in the office to eat lunch, is fried fish, I casually said: "Ouch, really fragrant"

That night. Lao Zhang sent me a box of fresh fish.

Yesterday, met Xiao Wang and his daughter-in-law shopping, I casually praised: "Ah yo, Xiao Wang, your daughter-in-law really beautiful!"

That night, I was at home, suddenly heard someone knocking at the door, opened the doors of a look, Xiao Wang daughter-in-law standing at the door, see my smile: "Leadership, our little Wang said sister-in-law is not at home, let me accompany you!"

8

Someone wants to talk to me about philosophy, life, I smiled. You nn, you know what is philosophy, what is life? Don't talk nonsense if you don't know. When you take off a single, you will understand that the wife's mouth is philosophy, the toilet in the dressing board is life.

9

My mother saw her daughter standing in front of the glass mirror for a long time not to leave, then asked the past curiously daughter: "What's the matter with you?" The little girl replied, "I want to see what I look like when I'm sleeping." ”

10

"Integrity and cleverness--this is the secret to success in business." "An experienced old businessman said to his son," the honest one is that when you sign a delivery contract with the other party, you have to make a delivery if you risk bankruptcy. "Ask Papa," said the son, "then what is clever?" Just don't sign this contract! "

11

Go to work in the morning, see the little girl next door back from the outside, with a red line on her hand, she asked curiously: "What are you doing with the red wool on your hand?" My sister was afraid I'd forgotten to write her letters, so I made a mark to remind me. "Did you send a letter?" No. "That's why?" Because my sister forgot to give me the letter. ”

12

The teacher was lecturing: "The lioness gave birth to the little lion, the lion to eat, the dog gave birth to the puppy, the puppy to eat ..." Xiao Ming stood up and asked: "Any mother must eat things?" "The teacher replied:" That is of course, or the baby will starve to death. "Xiaoming scratching his head puzzled to ask:" Teacher, hen eggs, eggs why not eat?

13

At night, three-year-old xiaoming is lying in bed. He asked his mother: "Mother, give me an apple!" "The child, too late, the Apple has gone to bed," said his mother, who covered the quilt for him. "Xiao Ming looked at his father and mother said:" No, the small may have slept, but the big certainly didn't sleep!

14

A tourist to the female guide said: "You take me to visit so many scenery, help us a lot." I'd like to send you some presents to thank you. What do you like? " The woman guide is very greedy, but also inconvenient to express, so only hesitatingly said: "I like to dress up, um ..." Give me something to use in my ears, fingers, or neck. The next day, visitors sent a slice of soap.

15

Wife, you said that I father-in-law is how to think, how to give you name Linzabi?

It looks like literature, it is not elegant.

Other people are only Shena, that appears to be affectionate, I have to call your full name, otherwise people think I scold you ...

16

The wife just test the driver's license, the road with a lorry passing, wife one foot pedal on the accelerator, see will bump, I hurriedly shouted: "Step on the accelerator." ”

The wife stepped on the brakes with one foot.

17

Little Song girl 30 still not object, I care to ask: "You find the object what condition?" My condition is not high: the face looks like the actor, the physique is athletic athlete, the knowledgeable resembles the researcher, the family decorate like the garden, the bank deposit million yuan, to me considerate like the waiter. "I:" Oh, I'll give you my neighbor's help. "What does your neighbour do?" He is a writer. Let him help you shape one in the novel.

18

Jiang asked her mother, "Why do you always hit me?"

Mother way: "Beat you, is love you, hope you progress Ah!"

Jiang thought half a ring; Don't you love dad then? How come I didn't see you hit dad?

19

In the dead of night, the wife has long been asleep, the father quietly touched into the daughter's room, the father stood at the bedside watching the sleeping daughter of the young innocent face can not bear to wake her, the heart constantly struggling, she is my daughter Ah, she is going to school tomorrow, I do this or people? However, the power of desire mortal after all still can not contend with, the father's last a trace of reason after all is devoured by endless desires, father climbed up the daughter's bed, at this time, the daughter suddenly woke up, she found a figure in the dark close to their own, She impressively found that in the dark people unexpectedly is her biological father, she stared at the father with incredible eyes terrified, father: "Don't make a sound, don't wake your mother, soon finished, you don't call!" Daughter gave up the resistance no longer struggle, father slowly loosened loose, pulled out a huge Apple 7 said: "Recently finally hit a full star bronze, help dad last silver!"

20

Junior High School, a classmate once on the way to school breakfast shop to eat breakfast, took a 100 to find more than more than 90, the result of 50 that is false. He went to the boss and the boss didn't change. So angry he used the rest of the real money to buy a large pile of currency, every day by bike passing by sprinkle in the shop. Half a month later, the boss finally put 50 hands back ...