WeChat Moments: THE MEDICAL PROFESSION, I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE SUCH A NURSE

You think the nurse was just taking pills? Wrong, we must understand the computer, will test, will communicate, calculate the medical record, starve, suppress urine ... Work so dull, still have to be a joke

To see what nurses have been through in the hospital?

1. A patient asked to be discharged early, and the attending physician advised him not to rush out of the hospital, his attitude is tough, on the table scold doctor Black Heart will know to money, the doctor helpless, agree to discharge and instruct him not to be too impatient, easy accident, and then this patient in the hospital on the way home to drive hit an old man ~ ~ and sent us this ~ ~

2. One night, a middle-aged man clutching the chest expression painful walked to ask me where the Doctor is, I asked him how uncomfortable, he hesitated, said: "My tits Pain" ╯▂╰ (mammary gland hyperplasia of the man is also injured)

3. A 77-year-old boy, did a breast bag resection, that afternoon a group of people to visit him, asked: "The boy who cut his tits to live in the number ward?" "(Don't do that, I'll tell you where the ward is when you direct the patient's name.)

After 4 years of work in a mental hospital, a man's clothes did not know how to get wet, I asked him: "Why is the clothes wet?" He looked up at the sky at 45 degrees: I fell into an emotional river.

5. Another psychiatric hospital, the doctor's room has two doors, a door to the office, and a door outside an iron fence, to the male ward, one night a patient is very anxious to knock on the door of the duty room, hurriedly shouted: "Doctor, Doctor," The Night of the Doctor is a 1.8-meter of Shandong man, he opened the door, the iron fence is very vigilant asked: "What?" ”

Patient: "Doctor, I want to sleep with you."

Doctor: "..." and ".

Patient: "I have brainwave under the bed, I dare not sleep"

Doctor: "..." and ".

Patient: "Doctor, you open the door, I put the quilt in."

Doctor: "... 10 o'clock, the brain waves went home, and hurried back to the room to sleep.

Patient: "Oh."

6. A patients owe no injections, pay money after the nurse station shouted: Nurse, the money has been paid, I am waiting for you in bed!

7. One day night shift, two o'clock in the morning I was sitting at the nurse's station sleepy, heard the pager rang, pedal running past. A more than 30-year-old chronic hepatitis B patients, leisurely said: "Nurse, please help me put the foot, a bit cold ← _ ← I can say I particularly want to call him dead."

8. The treatment of the class on the treatment plate to go to the injection, go to a certain bed before the patient said, the waiter first give me to fight!!!

9. A kind of antiviral drug called adefovir Ester, a patient after eating the doctor to prescribe medicine, said, my that that dove ate, you give me a box!

10. To the patient to prepare the skin, explained a chase. With a mask and a plate at the bedside waiting, "you take off your trousers," the outer pants off. "You take off your underwear too" underwear off, quilt cover. ← _ ← "Sorry to cooperate with our work, the quilt opened," the quilt opened, and then touched a newspaper cover.

11. Before the hospital carried out the Chinese medicine bubble Foot This project, the night shift, the nurses sent the Chinese medicine bag. In the middle of a male patient half joking half seriously said: Miss, do you have massage this project?

12. I was born in 92, nursing the Intern. A few days ago, a family member sat opposite the nurse's station and looked at me and whispered to the person next to me that the nurse must be very beautiful when she was young. The inner activity was so complicated.

13. The teacher helps the male patient to prepare the skin, lets me look beside, the patient erects. The teacher beat down with his hand and said, "What are you doing? I turned to the patient silently feel the egg ache ...

14. In the peaceful internship, there is a female patient, because the manic is bound, we go to the time desperately struggle "let me go ~ let me free urine ~" Inexplicable happy feeling ...

15. Junior high school students to study, listening to her internship when a patient dizzy sent to hang water, the result of her colleagues change water bottle fell down to the patients dizzy. Not dizzy and dizzy.

16. One day saw a nursing worker tightly holding another nurse's hand said: "You are a certain xxx, I adore you for a long time, today finally saw!" (When the nurse met the great God of the Shing.)

17. It's also about snoring ... On the night shift, there's a patient (more than 20 years old) who can't sleep at night, I gave him a shot, after a while his mother came to the nurse station to find me, said the patient to sleep, breathing particularly big, let me go and see him in the room, I saw him in bed to sleep, I weakly said: he ... This is snoring! The patient's family must say not snore, let me continue to listen, most of the night I stand at a more than 20-year-old lad's bedside ... Listen to him snore ... Finally, I went to the teacher to call up (I was a bitter intern Shing), we stand in the bedside listening to his snoring ... The final determination is snoring!!

18. Was called the waiter, this is already very common, a colleague was called "master" ... How can a 20-somethings girl become a "master" ... Is it a spoon or a lease?

19. The skin of a male patient seems to have not had anything, once to a 20-somethings gynecological female patient to prepare skin, and she explained what is called the preparation of skin, she faint said: Ah ... It's too exciting ... "What does she think of ...?"

20. Or an internship outside God, a doctor to give a patient lumbar puncture cerebrospinal fluid test, the patient had to lie on his side, and the knee could be close to his chest, and then he sat behind the patient and said, "Bend again, Bend again ..." until the patient bends to a fart, he will stop ...

21. In the hospital can not smoke this kind of thing should understand, a patient probably really can not help, on the bed smoked a root, smoked in fact we also can't how, but he is wearing oxygen tube side smoking, and then his face on ... Fire ... .....

22. Last month in the emergency department, one night the car picked up a drunk was the enemy (guess) in the face and chin cut a few crossings of the 76 of the men, after moving to the lathe curled up trembling said "protect me!" Protect me! "I am suddenly a woman heart swelled to answer," Well, I protect you! ”